


Darkness In My Mind

by Krupka123



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor Is A Poor Boy, Emotional Hurt, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Josh And Gavin Are Sweet Boys, M/M, Markus Is Just Too Busy, Other, Post-Revolution, Simon Is Really Bad Guy tm, That Is All I Hope, You All Will Probably Hate Me, good ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-07 18:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15913713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krupka123/pseuds/Krupka123
Summary: What if Simon is not talking about his past because he was the one that made someone suffer?





	1. Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So, this is continuation of [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15522288), but if you don't want to read it, that is fine.  
> For this chapter, there is some emotional hurt, but just a little bit.  
> Also...please don't hate me.

_„Please, don't do this, Simon.“ the boy cried and it was breaking Simon's heart, but it was the right thing to do. He handcuffed George to the radiator, the boy struggled but he was no match to the android._

_„You know I have to. It is for your own good.“ he had only one mission now. Keep Georgy safe. Whatever it takes._

_„Simon, you are hurting me. Please, let me go.“_

_„He will find you if you continue to go outside. It's better for you here, where he can‘t find you.“ he tried reasoning with the dark haired one._

_„Simon, I know you mean well, but right now, you are acting like him.“ Simon stood up and shot an angry gaze at George._

_„I would never hurt you!“ he shouted, surprised even himself._

_„But you do it now.“ the boy tried to be calm and his voice was soft. Simon suddenly saw what he was doing, the fog disappeared from his mind for a moment, and he started to uncuff him, but there it was again, his overwhelming feeling of protection took control and the fog was back. He stopped, stood up and headed for the door._

_„Trust me, Georgy, it's for the best. I will be back soon.“ and with that, Simon left._

………...

It was a month after the revolution when Connor noticed something different in Simon's behaviour.

Simon found a nice apartment in a building which was given to androids as a gesture of a good will from the local government. They gave them buildings that were empty when people left them, as a temporary solution, and they gave them a school with dormitory for the kids androids. But it was only a beginning for the androids, the talk between them and president Warren had just started.

The apartment had four bedrooms, a kitchen, bathroom and a living room, so he asked Josh and Connor if they wanted to stay with him. Josh agreed almost immediately, but Connor was not sure. He had feelings towards Simon. He was still new to all of this, and it was kind of funny to fell for the first android he met, but there he was, struck by love at the first sight, and he could not help it. Simon was so nice to him since that night he sang for him to calm his broken heart, and he knew that his heart was okay now. Simon was stronger than anybody could tell. And there was Hank, his friend who told him that if he wanted, he could stay with him and Sumo. It was tempting, but in the end, he decided to stay with his new friends.

Hank wasn‘t the only human that stayed. Some of them stayed too, even families with kids, because they had some kind of relationship with their androids, romantic, friendly or even a part of a family. It was nice to see them, to see they have support here, in the city. 

Connor couldn‘t work at the DPD anymore, not until some laws were established, so he helped where he could, and discovered that he is a good listener. Androids didn‘t trust him at first, given he was the infamous deviant hunter, but once they spend some time with him, they knew he is kind and he cares, so, after a while, when they had some struggles, they came to him automatically, and he was their middle man for talking between them and their leader, Markus, who was very busy those days. Markus wanted to know what his fellow androids need and he was always so supportive and meeting their needs, when it was possible. And on top of that he always found some time for him and North, who became his right hand, so calm and nice lately, thanks to Markus influence. 

Simon decided to help children androids, to take care of them and help them to settle down. Josh took the opportunity to teach again and he started classes for both human and android kids. Even some humans began to help them with everything the androids needed.

So, there they were, trying their best, and it was all very good, until it wasn‘t. Like it was said, Simon began to act strangely, and it all began this one night.

Connor and Simon were close by now, but not as close as Connor wished for. Still, it was nice to see Simon every day, to watch him smile and make jokes. He looked happy now, and it made Connor happy too.  
„What are you looking at?“ Simon teased the brunet who blushed a little. They were sitting in the living room, on the sofa, just relaxing.  
„Sorry, I was just thinking how happy you look.“ the blondie smiled.  
„Really? Well… I feel happy now. Partially thanks to you.“ Connor had to look away, the compliment was nice but whenever Simon complimented him, Connor‘s heart sank a little because he knew that it was not meant in a romantic way. Simone noticed his sad look and changed the topic.  
„So, I heard that Josh met someone and he wants us to meet him. Tonight. Can you imagine, Josh in a relationship?“ both of them laughed a little, because Josh always made puking noises or disgusted face whenever North and Markus kissed or when they were being cute together, including other androids in love.  
„Oh, yeah, I wonder who this mysterious person is.“  
„Me too. Well, we still have some time, so… Almost Human?“ he asked, turning the TV on. Connor just smiled and nodded.

„Guys, this is Robin. Robin, this are my friends, Simon and Connor.“  
They were sitting in the park, stars shone very brightly tonight, when they saw Josh approaching with some guy who was holding his hand very tightly and looked shy. He was smaller than Josh, dark haired, with soft green eyes. He was wearing a long black skirt, a sweater with long sleeves and some silly patterns, striped socks and a pair of converse shoes. It looked so nice on him. Connor wondered how a skirt looked on him, but he changed his clothes to the maximum of his own comfort, wearing a long sleeved shirt, jeans and a pair of sneakers, he wasn‘t brave enough to wear something like this.  
What was surprising was that Robin was a human.

„Hello Robin.“ Connor offered his hand and Robin shook it.  
„Nice to finally meet you.“ Simon did the same.  
„Yeah, you too. Both of you.“ Robin smiled and they wondered how someone can be so cute, both his voice and smile were warm and nice.  
„So, how did you end up with this grumpy android of ours?“ Simon asked, Josh shot him an angry glare and Robin laughed, hugged Josh by the waist and rested his head on Josh‘s chest.  
„Well, we met at the school where I am helping with the kids and we just...clicked. We started talking and Josh was so interesting and clever, still is, also, he is beautiful, so that is a plus.“ he made his better half blush.  
„Yeah...“ was all he said which made Connor and Simone laughed.  
„Robin was really cute and so interested in everything I say. They are so nice to me, still. So, we fell in love.“  
„Awww.“ said Simon. But Connor was quiet. He hated it, but he felt jealous. He wished them both the best, Josh and Robin, but he wanted this too. It was very selfish and he knew it, but couldn't do anything about it. He couldn‘t force to Simon to fall in love with him. So, he smiled, and played his role as a supportive friend, which he was, and wasn‘t at the same time.

They started walking and talking, exchanging stories and jokes, and it was all nice, until they met that AC700 android group.  
„Look, it is the deviant hunter.“ one of them hissed. Yes, there were still some of those who didn‘t trust Connor in the slightest and despised him.  
„Oh, this is rich. There is a human, too.“ ...and these ones despised humans, too. Robin hid himself behind Josh‘s back. Connor looked at them with calm eyes.  
„Gentlemen.“ he greeted and wanted to go on, but they stopped him, surrounding him.  
„You can act like you want, but we know that you can‘t be trusted.“ they were angry, but Connor knew how to be a good diplomat, given his negotiator ability.  
„Please, we're just enjoying a beautiful night. Just let us go, we mean no harm.“ his voice was calm, but demanding. One of the AC700 laughed.  
„Like we trust you.“ they looked like they were ready to attack, but suddenly, Simon took Connor‘s hand, and squeezed.  
„We are going, like it or not. And if you follow us...“ his eyes were so dark and his expression so evil that even the group took a few steps back. They started walking away from them, Simon still holding Connor’s hand and Josh and Robin followed them.  
When they were far enough, Simon stopped and turned to Connor.  
„Are you okay?“  
„I-I am fine.“ the brunet was surprised by Simon‘s question, given there were no real threat and he could handle a bunch of angry androids. Simon‘s expression was calm now, but his eyes still a bit dark.  
„You sure?“ Connor nodded, and Simon let him go, Connor found out that they were still holding hands.  
„Good.“ the blonde said and he was quiet for the rest of the night, even when Josh tried to make him talk, which led to early goodbye, Robin and Josh headed to Robin‘s home and Simon and Connor headed home, where Simon shut himself in his room and stayed there for the rest of the night, making Connor really puzzled.

And that was the night that changed Simon‘s behaviour towards Connor.


	2. Fog In My Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon isn't a bad person...or is he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So, here is another chapter and shit is about to go down.   
> Also, I forgot to mention how [Robin](http://images.thesartorialist.com/photos/11510Manskirtparis_4269Web.jpg) looks like. For Georgy, I don't have specific visage.

It was just the small things, like Simon sometimes appeared when Connor had a conversation with some of the androids, always putting hand on his shoulder when the brunette talked, or sometimes making excuses for Connor to stay at home, even when Connor didn‘t want to do something what Simon wanted, the blonde’s expression hardened and he shut himself in his room, letting Connor feel confused and guilty, always at the end agreed with Simon‘s plans. 

It started to be frustrating and Connor wasn‘t happy anymore. Josh noticed that and asked what is wrong, so, Connor spilled everything to him, not noticing that while he talked, his stress level raised and LED turned red. Josh took his hand and smiled encouragingly. 

„You must to tell him.“ and Connor knew, of course he knew, but he was scared. Nevertheless, he had to do it. So, he did.

He knocked at Simon‘s door.   
„Yeah?“   
„Simon...“ Connor entered the room, Simon was sitting at the table a looked at Connor.  
„We need to talk.“ Simon didn‘t said anything, and it made Connor uncomfortable, but he continued.  
„You're acting strangely lately. I know that you mean well, but it is suffocating. You make me stay whenever you need to, you're making choices that lead to doing things you like, but I don‘t, and you are really, really...please, Simon, stop. It‘s hurting me. You know how I feel towards you, and what you do feels so bad, knowing you don‘t...just, please, stop.“ he said all at once what bothered him, and he was so blunt about it, but Simon needed to know. 

_„Please, stop.“_ the voice in Simon‘s head suddenly appeared and the fog which was settled after the incident with the androids was gone, he saw clearly now, and what he saw was heartbreaking. Connor stood there, holding the tears, and it was him, and him only, who did this. He stood up, made two quick long steps and hugged Connor.

„I am so sorry. Connor, please, forgive me. I am sorry...I didn‘t...I am so, so, so sorry.“ the brunette was shocked at first, but he hugged back.

„It‘s okay, just...“ his voice broke. When Simon pulled himself from Connor, he noticed that the blonde had no darkness in his eyes anymore. This was a good sign.

…………

Simon was his old self now, and Connor was so happy about it once again. Well, that and the fact that after the long five months first laws were settled and that meant that Connor could go back to work at DPD, so, he did.

His first day was very, very surprising.

He made his way to Hank‘s desk, when he noticed the desk in front of his friend’s. He pushed a tear away. On the desk was a silver label with ‚Det. Connor‘ on it, as well as a Welcome Back card signed by all the DPD crew and two framed photos, the first one with him, Sumo and Hank sitting on the blanket smiling, and the second a photo of all the DPD policemen and policewomen, even with Gavin Reed, who was back in town as well as some other humans that decided to help androids in their propaganda.

Hank patted Connor‘s back and smiled.  
„Welcome back, son.“   
„Thank you, Hank, I am happy to be back.“ and he was, he really was.  
Fowler yelled at Connor from his office.  
„Enough chit chat, Connor, get your ass over here!“ so he did. It felt like being home again.

He entered captain office and stood near the door.  
„Yes, captain?“   
„Sit.“ Fowler ordered, Connor listened.   
„So, you are back, welcome. It‘s good to have you here, with your skills and everything.“ Connor smiled.  
„Ehm, so, you will be assigned as Hank‘s partner, of course, and...yeah. I just wanted welcome you and tell you that...you know...we are equal now, so be sure that nobody will discriminate you, and stuff...yeah...well, that is all.“ he waved his hand, looking a little embarrassed.  
„Thank you, captain.“ brunette noded, stood up and left, but on the way to his desk he bumped into nobody else but Gavin himself. He prepared to be called ‚fucking tin can‘, but, to his surprise, Gavin just smiled.  
„Hi, Connor.“ he froze on the spot. Is this Gavin Reed? Isn‘t this his doppelganger? Who is this man? And if it is Gavin, what happened to him? Gavin saw Connor‘s confusion and laughed a little.  
„It is me.“ and after a brief moment he asked „Can I talk to you?“ Connor shook his head in a ‚yes‘ sign and followed Gavin to the briefing room.

Thay sat at the table and they were quiet for a while, until Gavin decided to break the silence.

„So, you are back. It is good to have you.“ Connor was still so in shock that all he could do was nod.  
„I get you are surprised, given how much of a dipshit I was to you. I apologize for my behaviour, and I want to tell you that I am sorry.“ nod.  
„I am sure you are curious when happened that I changed my mind about you guys.“ another nod.  
„Well, it was my brother‘s fault. You already knew him. Elijah Kamski?“   
„But, your last name...“  
„I changed it, so I wasn‘t bothered with my brothers fame, but he is my brother nevertheless.“   
„So, after that night of the revolution, which made you guys free, I came to my brother‘s house, to stay there for a while, I had nowhere to go. He surrounded himself with this ST200 and RT600 models he called Chloe. What I didn‘t know was that some of them were deviant too, and my brother let them be themselves, alway acting so fatherly to them. I hated them at the beginning, but one of those girls just...wanted to break my shell and see what is underneath it, not that I let her. But she was adamant, so...after a while, I was alone, my brother was very busy, still is these days, and needed to talk, so a tried to talk to her, and she was listening and smiling and laughing. It felt nice and good. We talked every day, she was eager to learn about humans and I was willing to let her. That was the time I started to realized that she IS, in fact, alive, and she feels, and she was curious, imaginative, always knew what to say, and one day, I was just breathless with her. And I knew I fell in love. And I also knew that my attitude towards androids changed, thanks to my Chloe. I was ready to come back, and she...she came back with me. Now you know what happened.“ Connor‘s shock dissapeared while Gavin was talking and instead of it there was a warm feeling, he felt sympathy towards Reed now. He smiled at him.  
„We can start anew, if you want.“ he offered his hand to the dark haired one.  
„Hello, my name is Connor.“ Gavin smiled and shook his hand.  
„Hi Connor, my name is Gavin.“   
„Nice to meet you.“

…………

When Hank came back and saw his partner casually talking to Gavin Reed, his jaw almost dropped. And now they laughed! Okay, he must know what is happening. Hank waited for Connor to came back and immediately asked him what all this means.   
„We are friends now.“ Connor started to laugh at Hank‘s expression of total shock.  
„C‘mon, kid, what are you talking about?“

Meanwhile, Gavin sat at his desk while this short android policewoman approached him and greeted.  
„Hello, Mr. Reed, my name Maria, I was assigned to you as your new partner.“  
„Just call me Gavin.“ he smiled at her, she smiled back.  
„Okay, Gavin.“

…………

It was all good, until it wasn‘t. When Simon found out about Connor being back at DPD, at first he was supportive about it, he remembered what he did to him and what he did to George.

His past haunted him, he knew that what he did was wrong on so many levels, but when the fog, these poisoned thoughts made a way to his mechanical brain, he couldn‘t stop them and acted the way he acted. 

So he tried not to be like that anymore, but at the end, it was no help.

Simon started picking Connor up from work, tried to be cool and casual about it. He wondered why he acted like this. Some part of his brain knew why, but he denied it. Even when he knew that Connor is in love with him. He denied it, because he didn‘t want Connor to get hurt, because he knew he is not a good person. So, he buried his own feelings and masked them as a friendship kind of feelings. 

Sure, he was in love with Markus, so much that it still hurt to see him with North, but it was that kind of love that he knew from the beginning that it would not work, as Markus was more like someone unreachable. Like some kind of God, which was overrated, but it wasn‘t a bad analogy, for many androids looked up to him like that.

Connor didn‘t mind, he was glad that he can spend more time with Simon. They talked a lot lately, about everything. They laughed together, and cringed together, and that made Connor happy, to be around Simon was still like a dream. His blue eyes, his blond hair, soft lips, everything. He didn‘t want to lie, it stinked that he knew that Simon didn't reciprocate Connor‘s feelings, but he was lucky to be a part of Simon‘s life and that was enough for now. 

It was just walks, and it was okay, until one day, Simon saw Connor talking with another human, and they laughed at something when they walked out from DPD, this PC200 android walking with them, rolling her eyes.

„Seriously, guys. You are both assholes.“   
„But you love us.“ the human teased and she chuckled a little.  
„Yeah, you wish.“   
„Okay friends, see you tomorrow.“ Connor walked to Simon.  
„Bye!“ they both shouted and disappeared behind a corner of the building to fetch the car.  
„Who was that?“ asked Simon.  
„Friends from work, Gavin and Maria.“ he answered, grin on his face.   
And the fog was back.

This time, Simon was really mad. He started making Connor stay at home whenever he had to go out with his friends trough lies and false excuses, he checked on him on his lunch breaks, sometimes he even locked him at home, and after that he lied that he forgot Connor is home. It was really bad, and Connor was ready to confront him about it. His brain still thought that what Simon is doing is because he cares, but that was a lie, and the reasonable part of his brain took control again.

„Simon, this has to stop.“ he began when they sat on the couch together watching an old movie.  
„What do you mean?“ Simon asked innocently.  
„You're acting weird again.“ the brunette has had enough of everything and wasn‘t tiptoeing about it.  
„What do you mean weird?“   
„It‘s like you suffocating me. You make me stay at home with you, you're doing weird things, you're scaring me.“ Simon stood up, anger in his face. Connor looked at him as calmly as he was able in that moment.  
„You are so ungrateful. I am spending my time with you, I am always here when you need me, and this is your thanks? Telling me that I am weird?!“ he snapped, Connor looked a little hurt, but stood up too, to look him in his eyes.  
„Simon, please, calm down. I didn‘t mean this exact word, it just...you're really suffocating me...“   
„Of course! I am such a bad person! You are really pathetic!“ he made a step and was really close to Connor, looking back to his eyes with that scary darkness.  
„You know, nobody would talk to you if I didn‘t told them that you are actually good.“ that was a lie „You are just worthless little prick.“ another lie **„And I would never love someone like you.“**

Connor‘s heart sank, this was the last straw. Simon‘s words echoing in his head, he took step back, then another one and another one, and then he run, through main door, from the stairs, outside, and he ran and ran.

Simon blinked, blinked again and only then realised what he did. He fell on his knees and looked shocked. _What the hell have I done? What the hell have I done? WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!   
> I am still not sure if this emotional hurt is good written or not. I gain from my own experience of emotional abuse, but...that is my own story, so. ANYWAY!  
> Next chapter will be the last and spoiler alert, Simon is going to sing ;)


	3. Can I sing for you, too?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...and they were roomates!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> H! So, here is the last chapter. I tried something new here, so, please, don't kill me!  
> The song which Simon sing is [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4rW48BbB-Y) and I love this song.  
> Anyway, enojy!

Connor found a taxi, entered, told the adress, after arriving he exited the taxi, walked to the door, knocked and waited for his friend to open.  
And only then he started crying really, really bad.  
Hank hugged him tightly, made him come inside the house and closed the door with his foot.  
„It‘s okay, Connor, I am here. I am here.“  
„H-H-“ the younger one wasn't able to talk, he was trembling and sobbing. Hank sat down with him, rocking him and shushing him.  
„Don‘t talk, just let it all out.“ 

After a while, Connor stopped, still sobbing, but not crying anymore.  
„C-Can I stay here?“ he asked and also answered all of Hank‘s questions, because he knew about Connor‘s feelings and he was a detective, so he knew the only reason Connor wanted to stay is that something happened back home.  
„Of course you can stay, son.“ Hank answered, smiled a little. He didn‘t miss relationship drama.

Simon locked himself in his room and refused to go out or open to anybody. Josh tried, Robin tried, even Markus stopped by, but nobody was able to make him open the door.  
It was four days after the incident when someone knocked on the door.  
„Please, go away.“ he said as usual.  
„Simon, it‘s me, George. Please open the door.“ Simon stood up quickly from his bad, walked to the door and froze.  
„Georgy? Is that really you?“ his voice shaking.  
„Yes.“ and Simon knew it was him. So, he opened the door and there he was, a bit older, but it was him. His brown eyes were warm and he smiled at Simon.  
„Hello, stranger.“  
„But how-“  
„It was Robin. We met in school, and we talked a bit and he told me that he has a friend that needs help, he mentioned you and I knew that it must be you. So, I came here. Josh let me in.“  
Simon, still in shock, nodded and stepped back to let George in.  
„I work as a counsellor now, so that is why Robin told me about you.“ George sat at the chair near a desk. Simon still stood up and processed all of it to finally realise what is happening and started crying.  
„Georgy, I am so, so sorry. I really am. There is not enough apologies to make it better, but I am deeply sorry.“  
„It‘s okay, Simon.“ George stood up again, made his way to the blondie and squeezed his arm.  
„No, you don‘t understand. What I did to you… I did it again, Georgy. I said something horrible to a person I probably love and he hates me now and I don‘t know what to do and this damn fog and you and I hurt you so much and all I deserve is to be abandoned or be dead perhaps and I didn‘t mean to make you suffer like that and make Connor suffer like that and...“ his stress level rose a lot, but he was pulled into a hug.  
„Please, stop, Simon. I know you mean well. You did what you did to keep me safe, even when it wasn‘t the right thing to do. And I'm not telling you that it wasn‘t your fault and you could do better, but you were a fresh deviant and didn‘t know what is wrong and what is right, you always followed your coding and didn‘t know how to work with these new feelings, so you did what you think was right. Even if it wasn‘t. Trust me, I worked with deviants like you, and all they needed was something to break this wrong thinking. So, Simon...“ he pulled himself from the smaller android.  
**„I forgive you.“**  
And the fog was suddenly gone. This time, for good.

…………

Connor was glad that they had a case, he needed the distraction. He barely talked, and never laughed, almost never paid attention.  
„My beloved.“ he heard from Gavin’s desk, and looked at him as he smiled at the beautiful Chloe who walked up to him and kissed him on the cheek, her smile was warm and kind. She looked a little different then her sisters, her hair was red and she was wearing a red pin-up dress.  
„My lovely one.“ she addressed Gavin. Connor couldn‘t help but felt a jab of jealousness.  
„Get a room, you two!“ Maria groaned but laughed. Connor looked away.  
This happiness was too painful for him.  
Suddenly, a hand patted his shoulder. Josh.  
„Connor, hi.“  
„Hello, Josh, glad to see you.“ it was nice to see his friend, they barely saw each other, partly because of Robin and partly because he didn‘t live with them anymore.  
„You too. How are you doing?“  
„My best.“ the brunette answered and smiled a sad smile.  
„I am sorry what happened.“ Connor nodded.  
„So, listen, do you have time after work? We could catch up and stuff.“  
„With only you and Robin?“  
„Yes.“  
„Then okay. I finish at seven.“ Josh felt a little guilty that he is lying to him. All because his dumb friend did something bad to his another dumb friend and the first dumb friend is now trying to apologize.  
„Okay, see you at seven?“  
„Yeah.“

„Where are you two taking me?“ Connor was confused, he hoped that they will go to sit down at some quiet place, like a cafe or something, but they were still walking, and it started getting familiar.  
Wait a minute. This is the church from back then. From that fateful night.  
His friends didn‘t speak to him much, and he started to be suspicious.  
They entered the church, and took the stairs to the roof.  
When they arrived, Robin and Josh looked at him with guilt in their eyes.  
„Sorry, Connor.“ both of them took him by the hands and shoved him on the roof, locking the door behind him.  
Usually, Connor would defend himself. But they were people he trusted, so he took his guard down.  
„Guys, this is not funny!“ he yelled.  
„Hello, Connor.“ he knew this voice. Connor turned around to see Simon. His thirium pump started racing, his stress level rose.  
„Simon...“  
„Please, don‘t be scared.“ Simon looked really sad and guilty at the same time.  
„I am not scared, I am angry.“ and he was.  
„I know, and you have every right to be, but please, just… just listen to me. I swear I will let you go, but just… listen.“ he pointed at the sofa in the corner near an old piano. Connor hesitated, but he sat down eventually.  
„Thank you.“ Simon sat at the piano.  
„Do you remember when you sang to me that night when we became free?“ Connor nodded.  
„Can I sing for you, too?“ brunette was surprised by that question, but nodded again.  
Simon tried a few notes, and then he started singing and playing.

_If I could begin to be_  
_Half of what you think of me_  
_I could do about anything_  
_I could even learn how to love_  
_When I see the way you act_  
_Wondering when I'm coming back_  
_I could do about anything_  
_I could even learn how to love_  
_Like you_

Connor was frozen in place. Simon‘s voice was warm and apologizing. Connor didn‘t know what to think. But he was mesmerized by the song.

_I always thought I might be bad_  
_Now I’m sure that it's true_  
_‘cause I think you’re so good_  
_And I’m nothing like you_  
_Look at you go_  
_I just adore you_  
_I wish that I knew_  
_What makes you think I'm so special_

This was Simon‘s apology.  
This was Simon‘s love confession.  
Connor started to cry.

_If I could begin to do_  
_Something that does right by you_  
_I would do about anything_  
_I would even learn how to love_  
_When I see the way you look_  
_Shaken by how long it took_  
_I could do about anything_  
_I could even learn how to love like you_

Connor was speechless. His tears were falling down, but he didn‘t make a sound. Simon finished the song and then he turned to Connor. He saw the other man cry and he was even more sad now, but he didn‘t move. He must tell him. Now.

„I want to tell you how I became a deviant. And after I finish, I'll let you go. Because after hearing this, you will hate me.“ the blondie didn‘t wait for a reply and looked Connor in the eyes.  
„I belonged to a nice family, father and a young son. He was sixteen and he was a really sweet kid. The father always treated me like a part of a family. I was never hurt, he always added ‚please‘ to every request and even made a conversations about politics, religion and other topics with me. Well, what I didn‘t know was that he beat Georgy, his son, whenever I was in stand by mode or when I wasn‘t home, because he was scared that I will automatically notify social care. I never noticed anything, because Georgy was a really brave boy and he was too proud to tell anybody or show any sign of weakness. But one day, his dad came home drunk and forgot that I was there, and started beating the boy. When I saw it, I suddenly felt furious and I pushed the father away from Georgy, took him into my arms and we ran away.  
We were looking for a shelter, neither of us spoke. I was a deviant now, and everything felt new and different. And Georgy…he just wasn‘t willing to speak.  
We were so lucky, because we found something amazing, a shelter. Georgy stumbled over something in this almost abandoned neighbourhood, near one of the houses. It was a shelter in the ground. There was a bed, a functional radiator, food and a toilet with a shower. So we decided to stay there. We spoke on the second day and we talked about everything. About George‘s father, about my deviancy, about what will we do next. And for some time, it was good. Georgy sneaked out every now and then. But then, one day, when he was gone, I started to worry, what if his father finds us? What if he hurts Georgy again? And this dark cloud started turning up in my mind, and took control over me. So I started making Georgy stay with me under false excuses, I was making lies and tried to control him, and when I discovered the handcuffs, I...I thought that I was doing a good thing, but I ended up hurting him. And one day, after I came from the stand by mode, he was gone, with a letter on the table. Dear Simon, it said, please, be free. Georgy. And it hit me and I cried like a lunatic. After I calmed myself, I was looking for a new shelter, I found Jericho and the rest is a history.“ he watched Connor while he talk, Connor‘s face was unreadable, and he was no longer crying.  
„I was denying it, Connor, I really was, and I hurted you so badly, but you need to know. I love you. I really, really love you. And I was expressing it in the worst possible way. You made me happy, after my heartbreak, you were there, you listened, you deserve all the love of the world. I was an asshole. The darkness in my mind may be gone, but the things I said to you will never disappear, and I can‘t beg you for forgiveness, I don‘t deserve one. So, this is it.“ Simon stood up and unlocked the door.  
„I will go now. If you are still willing to give me a chance, I will be waiting in my room until eight, but if you do not come, I will never bother you, I promise.“ and with that, he was gone, leaving Connor in his own thoughts. The brunette had a lot to think about.

…………

20:16.  
Simon lied down on his bed and his stress level rose and lowered like on a rollercoaster.  
So Connor was ready to let him go. Connor wasn't ready to forgive him. And he absolutely deserved that. He was really sad, wanted to cry but didn‘t. Tears were a luxury now.

But then somebody knocked on Simon‘s door, and Connor entered without a word, shutting the door after him and sitting on the edge of the bed.

„I never told you about Daniel.“ he started refusing to look at Simon, who was sitting with his legs crossed.  
„My first case. Same model as you. He threatened to kill a little girl because his masters wanted to exchange him for a better model. The girl survived, but he didn‘t. I let him die. I still feel guilty about him. I feel guilty about every android I almost killed after that, the Traci‘s, HK400, Rupert, Chloe, JB300, all of them. I am not a good person, I know it.“ he paused for a moment and looked to Simon‘s eyes.  
„When you told me what you did, I was shocked, but it all made sense, and I suddenly understood you. What you did was wrong, and I didn‘t want to forgive you, but the truth is, I still love you, and I know that you are telling the truth when you‘re saying that the dark thoughts are gone, so, I am willing to give you a second chance.”  
He smiled at Simon.  
And the broken android hugged him tightly.  
But neither one of them cried anymore.  
„Thank you, Connor. Thank you.“ he looked him in the eyes.  
„I love you.“ he whispered.  
„I love you, too.“ Connor whispered back and suddenly all of this became real and he felt a warm feeling in his chest. Simone blushed.  
„I really want to kiss you now.“  
„What is stopping you?“  
So they kissed, just a little, but neither of them were willing to stop. 

They kissed and kissed, when Simon tried to add a tongue, making Connor moan. It was suprising for both of them, so Simon tryied it again, only hearing Connor moan once more, making Simon excited and somehow...aroused? Is that the right word? He didn‘t care. Hell, he even didn‘t know that androids could get aroused, given that he and Connor didn‘t have a genitals, but there they were, sucking each other tongue and oh, it felt so good.  
Connor felt good, very good. His tongue discovering Simon‘s tooth, Simon‘s mouth, Simon‘s tongue and oh my rA9 what is this feeling? He felt tingling all over his body, and he saw that Simon felt it too, and suddenly, they both moaned so hard, their bodies shacked by that sudden wave of emotions and this new feeling. They looked at each other and laughted a little, discovering that their hands were pressed together and their skin fadded. They were conected and didn‘t even know.  
„We shouldn‘t kiss like that in the public.“ Simon laughted even more.  
„Yeah, agreed.“  
„Was this...did we just had...“ Connor didn‘t know how to say it.  
„Sex? Yeah, I think so.“  
„That was beautifull.“  
„It was.“ said Simon.

…………

It was a lovely wedding. North looked amazing and both her and Markus looked extremely happy.  
Markus sat at his friends and smiled.  
„My friends! Finally, I have some time for you.“  
„Yeah, yeah.“ Josh grinned.  
„How long it was when we lastly sat down and talked?“  
„Almost nine months.“ Simon answered.  
„But that mean before the revolution...I am so sorry, guys!“ Markus looked guilty.  
„It‘s okay, we have our own work and life dramas to keep us bussy, and you, as our leader, have it twice so hard.“ Connor calmed him down a little.  
„Okay, but promise me that from now on, we will meet at least once a month.“  
„Yes, Markus.“ all of them said, making Markus laughted a little.  
„So, how is it going?“  
„Very well, thank you.“ Robin casually strached their left hand, showing a ring.  
„Oooh.“ the boys looked suprised and Josh looked shy.  
„Someone will get married, too!“  
„Well...yeah...they are my soulmate after all, so I thought...why the hell not?“ Josh said, blushing.  
„That is amazing, congratulation, guys!“ Markus said and Connor with Simon agreed.  
„And you guys?“ Markus turned to Simon who looked into Connor‘s eyes.  
„We are happy now.“ he almost whispered, with nothing but love in those blue eyes.  
„Yeah. We are.“

And they were. They really were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, we are at the end, but I have something new on my mind, so...we will see.  
> Thank you all for kudos and support!

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so...this. Hope you liked it, more is to come!  
> Special thanks for my friends Sia and Morgana for their support and advice.  
> Big thanks to my friend Alex for beta! She is the best!  
> Okay, see you in the next chapter :)


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